turn that frown upside down!

Actually i'm quite liking this new format- does one agree?

So I've had an interesting day.
Wellll... not that interesting but the latter end of the day was quite surreal.

I like cats. I like them a lot. A lot, a lot. I have a cat called Massimo, a cat called Crosby and I did have, until today, a third cat called Stewy. Stewy was 22 years old and he was getting a little scruffy in his old age but he had this strange wise vibe around him, like a sort of aura- a feline aura. He was blind and his eyes were cloudy but they still seemed to see everything, understand everything, empathise with everything. They reminded me of of white opals- slightly iridescent and milky. Today he had to be put down because he was extremely ill and i only found out when i was on my home on the train.

I don't know if you've ever cried in a public space but it really does feel like you are in the movies- everything goes quiet and you notice people looking at you and you notice things about people that you wouldn't notice otherwise. As the tears run down your face you notice that, though crying makes perfect sense to you, everyone else is wondering what's wrong.

I was sat opposite this boy who seemed to be keeping himself to himself but i could see that he had noticed the tears. He looked sorry, as if he felt he needed to apologise to me for whatever had happened. As the train left the station he took a little piece of folded origami paper out of his bag and wrote something on it. I in turn took a piece of paper and made him a very small paper crane.

As the train drew into my stop he stood and handed me the piece of paper and i placed the crane in his hand. The piece of paper read "don't be sad. everything will be okay."

And that's all i wanted to say.
Today's life tip (As stolen from the boy on the train): "don't be sad. everything will be okay."Even stewy will be okay. Stewy won't suffer anymore and i have stopped crying. Don't worry, be happy.

The Internet- quel désastre!

i suppose i should stick to my "give a tip, write a bit" structure but i feel like a change. So here it goes... the long one... the one that (hopefully) hits home... the... deep... and.... meaningful... one...

Not long ago i went to new york during hurricane sandy- it was exciting to say the least- and i got a sudden sense of the fragility of society. Electricity connects us to everyone and has the power to cut us off from everywhere and everyone we love- without a mobile phone, without internet, without tv... even now i am communicating using electricity. I am reaching people i have never even met and i feel like i'm talking to you, i feel like i'm having a conversation.

I was thinking about this when i was involved in a controversial debate about perspectives on homosexuality (Before any of you ask- I am a huge LGBT supporter but i, myself, am heterosexual). I found myself in a room where people were happy to use religion to justify views which i had always assumed were held only by extreme fundamentalist believers in various far away places. apparently i was wrong. I saw people i had always trusted, cared about and been friendly with change into bigoted monsters cowering behind the Bible and its various, ambiguous translations. I suddenly realised that on my Facebook i have liked the Wipe out Homophobia page ( https://www.facebook.com/WHOF1?fref=ts ) but that no one else in that room even knew it existed. I found myself worrying that my friends would desert me, that my little world would fall apart and that they might assume that i was lesbian and hurt me because of it. It was stupid really. But interesting. Interesting to see how people react to prejudice- how i react to prejudice- and how social media has affected how much we know about each other.

in one click i can find out what books my friends like, what tv shows they watch, what music they listen to, whether they are single, in a relationship or 'it's complicated with...' I don't feel like i even need to meet people face to face to get to know them. I can have friendships only through texting, seeing the person on a train once every 3 months and sending Facebook messages. I can tell someone exactly what i think about them without even having to see how they react. I can use sarcasm and have it interpreted incorrectly, i can write blunt and rude emails just as easily as nice ones to make someone feel wanted, I can write a blog and know that someone, somewhere must be listening.

i suppose it's largely a good thing. Instant communication has kept my relationship with my best friend going even after she moved away- i'm proud to say that we have NEVER argued and that she will be visiting me for Christmas- and instant communication has allowed me to show my support for the LGBT community, has allowed me to write what i think and read what i want. But i think (to return to the "write a tip structure") we all need to keep electricity in perspective. Nothing can replace a real smile- no matter how nice the profile picture is or the emoticon used! nothing can replace a real chat- no matter how many CAPS LOCK WORDS or 'ajbakgbkfjdb's or typed letters are used. Nothing can replace a laugh- not even lol, lmao or rofl can do that. And absolutely nothing can replace real humans rather than the filtered robots we meet everyday via the internet. Maybe we should all take a step back and say "Thank you internet for helping us but could you just relax a little? I'm not in the mood for notifications."

Tip number whatever we are up to....
Try not to touch your computer for a day and communicate only with real speech and letters written and posted with a stamp and an address. Go back in time for just a few hours and sigh. it's nice isn't it? not to have to constantly stare at the glare of a screen? very good. me likey.