"i'm a feminist but..." is i phrase i dislike immensely- it's sitting right next to "i'm prochoice but..." and "i'm not racist/sexist/homophobic but...". Generally once i hear it come out of someone's mouth i'm already cantering up to the moral high ground waving my "down with the patriarchy" flag and preparing a rant to cut the "but"-er down to size.
The most common "buts" i hear are:
"i'm a feminist but... i don't understand how a mother could let someone else look after their child..." to which i laugh, shake my head and say "you will be homeschooling then?" and if they nod "Your child will never go to a party? or go to a sleepover?" and if they nod again "well that's... nice..."
"i'm a feminist but... people can't complain if someone rapes them or calls them 'easy' or something if they wear really slutty clothes..." to which i turn a dark shade of purple, grit my teeth and say "ah yes because obviously you should not have the right to wear what you want without being treated like a sex object! And obviously if you wear slutty clothes you clearly want to get raped! And obviously men can't control themselves around short skirts and low cut tops because they are basically brainless, sex obsessed animals! And obviously you are an IDIOT."
"i'm a feminist but... some women just need to calm the fuck down..." to which i look a little confused. "Soz but i don't quite get what you are saying about feminism vis-a-vis 'calming the fuck down'? If you are implying that some women are getting too passionate about equality then i am going to have to ask you to rethink that because i don't think you can be too passionate about defeating a system that has oppressed women based on their gender alone for centuries... if anything we need more women to fight the patriarchy with even greater vehemence! BUT if you were just making a general point about all people- not just specifically women ("coz men don't get stressed, obvs" ummm... what?)- then yeah, totes."
The above "but"-ers are part of a new wave of people who i fondly refer to as "not-feminists". They are a group of people who think that claiming to be feminist is enough and that being a feminist doesn't actually mean anything- that it is literally just an 8 letter word that has something to do with women (and some of these "not-feminists" don't even get that far, if i'm honest). It's time to make feminism mean something again to all the people who are wandering over to not-feminism. We should just, you know, nip it in the "but".
Tip #34 (i don't actually know what number we're up to- i think it's about 34, maybe 35... or 33? meh.): anyhewww i just think people should stop umming and erring and but-ing about feminism- It really is as simple as this: http://www.areyouafeminist.com
(this is a post about how i respond to these kind of situations and how i feel about these ideas)
You're 14-15 years old...? How the hell can you have such opinionated views on the world when you have only seen a very small portion of what it has to offer!
ReplyDeletehmmm... perhaps because i spend a lot of time trying to discover more of the world and work it out? oh yeah, thinking helps- maybe you should try it.
DeleteJudging by your tone, you clearly haven't worked it out very well missy.
Deleteno i probably haven't but i'm getting there- my ideas will change and evolve and become more informed and insightful and i'm sure that in 10 or 15 more years i'll have developed a collection of well substantiated and justified political and social ideas and i'll be voicing them and hoping that people will listen in the same way that i'm doing now...
Deletei'm not quite sure what you think is wrong with young people having views, opinions and ideas... rather that than a generation of utterly ignorant people who don't question things or form their own ideas.
I don't think it's wrong at all to have an opinion! The only problem I see is that perhaps these views are a little too strong for someone as young as yourself, please do continue voicing your opinions as you do, but maybe take a step back once in a while and consider other viewpoints before voicing such STRONG opinions on matters such as sexism etc...not all men are 'basically brainless, sex obsessed animals'!
DeleteOh that's what you are referring to! it was sarcasm! i was saying that we shouldn't engage in slut shaming because men have the capability to control themselves and so women should be safely able to wear any clothes they wish.
DeleteI'm with Miss Nobody on this one.
DeleteI took her post to be one calling out those who claim to be something yet follow it up with a comment that demonstrates the complete opposite.
Having strong opinions on the world and having the raw passion to deal with the injustices that they see around them? That goes with the territory of young people interested in getting involved in all things politics.
As far as the debate & discussion goes, far better to respond to each point individually than reply with a comment about her age.
I don't think age can ever justify how strong your opinion is 'allowed' to be. I think it's inspiring that someone so young can voice their opinion, it's not all about the over 30s. I also think we are all well aware that this is just one opinion amongst many but it's interesting and educational to understand a variety of different opinions even from people who are younger and 'inferior'. But if you want to live in a bubble where only those of a certain age have strong opinions
Delete....by all means continue
DeleteLucetta, 14 YEARS OLD
I find teenagers are often more open-minded than adults, and are definitely entitled to their own opinions...just because you're young doesn't mean you haven't experienced more than your fair share of life. Really nice post :)
ReplyDeletethanks- after all many of us have got blogs! (love your blog at the mo btw.)
DeleteThis is amazing...you stood up to the 'troll' admirably...made my day ;)
ReplyDeletethanks!
Delete