Monday 28 January 2013

The Yummy Mummy Problem

I'm a feminist. And no, that doesn't mean i shave my head but not any other part of my body.

What it means is that i actively oppose sexist stereotyping and oppression of women and believe that women should be allowed to be and do whatever they want and not be made to feel like they have to fulfil society's female ideals. That doesn't mean that i don't think women should be allowed to be housewives. It just means that i don't think any woman should be forced to be a housewife if she has other ambitions.

What I am amazed by is that there are many girls my age who are unaware that they do, in fact, somewhat force other women to be housewives. For example when i say the words "no. i don't want more than 2 children and i certainly don't want to stay at home and look after them for all eternity", a group of girls turn their heads slowly, look me up and down and say "WHAT?! you mean to tell me that you don't want 18 snotty, dribbling toddlers to climb out of your womb and then hang around your shoulders and chain you to the kitchen sink for the rest of your life whilst being a perpetual drain on your pocket?! You mean to tell me that you would rather work than commit yourself to a life of cooking, cleaning and catalogue browsing?!" I thought we, as a society, were past that. I thought we had got over women not wanting to wear a frilly apron and dedicate their lives to making cheese sandwiches for packed lunch boxes. I thought we had moved on. But clearly we haven't.

Personally they don't make me want to rethink my future. I stand by my choice: Never shall i, while wearing a greige pashmina and sitting in an organic cafe with around 12 million bangles clinking on my wrist, a husband sitting in an office somewhere in canary wharf and a toddler called Jasper drinking a babychino, utter the words: "Aren't you so glad that you get to be with your little darlings all day every day? I'm so glad I found my Hubby so fast!" Never.

But i know not everyone is so determined not to be converted. Yes i will never join the "PTA" or be involved in "mummy and baby low fat coffee mornings" but that doesn't mean i won't be a good parent- and it doesn't mean that you won't be either. It doesn't matter. If you choose to stay at home and become part of the yummy mummy army then that is your choice, but please don't impose it on someone else! Think of it this way- the queue in that organic cafe will be a lot shorter without all us hardened careers women trying to get our hands on your tall, skinny, blonde cappuccino with no chocolate.

So another TIP: don't return to the dark ages of women's rights when we barely got a say in who ran the country let alone whether we worked or not. let us be what we want. After all why do you care if i go out to work instead of staying at home?

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